Waiting...

I think this is the most horrible part of pregnancy; the waiting. It's horrible!! I want to meet him already and he's just so happy and content right where he is. I've tried everything from primrose oil to yoga to scrubbing on my hands and knees...and everything in between. Sometimes I find myself wondering if he's even still in there! Like maybe he came out and I didn't know it or worse he's in trouble and I have no idea!!

I'm realizing that being a mom is so much more than I ever imagined. I'll never stopping worrying or fussing over Hunter. I'll never be that really cool mom who is like 'Oh yeah, go do whatever you want I don't care.' I'll never be the mom that says 'Here's the keys, no I don't need to know where your going or who your going with.' Funny. I don't even think those moms are even cool!!

I always thought I'd be the hip mom. The one that let her kids do whatever they wanted. Because, when I was a kid thats what I thought was cool. But, now that I'm an adult and a MOM it just seems careless. I end up thinking, 'Duh, that's how accidents happen.' Perhaps, part of being a mom is trying to prevent accidents especially careless ones.

So, even while Hunter isn't *here* yet I'm already worried about him. Wondering why he doesn't want to come out. Worried he'll never come out. Praying that nothing is wrong with him. Trying to psyche myself up for the delivery. And, wondering what in the world I'll do with a baby...

It just didn't seem real. Still, I don't think it will be real until I see him in his little basinett at the hospital. Until I hold him I won't really realize he's mine...he's ours. It's just so hard to believe...that our prayers have finally been answered and our little boy is almost here...